A narrative piece written by our reader about some of the relationship issues in our everyday life. Read on and share your thoughts!
I grew up in Mushin, a notorious city in Lagos known for all form of vices. lLove was never a thing from people who grew up from these part of the city. I never knew I would ever fall in love, let alone with four different girls.
I was in my early 20's and just got admitted into the university to study English and History, what a funny combination but it was fun I must tell you. I enjoyed the History lectures a lot but for English lectures it was more about the GIRLS and the attention.
I remember vividly, it was Emeka having a nice "chyking" conversation with Gbemi while I was sitting right behind them, enjoying and learning new tricks and words to use when engaging in the endangered sport of chasing women (men chase money now). I could not hold myself when I heard Gbemi tell Emeka she lives in Lagos and had spent all her childhood there.
I spoke a little about Lagos, but I was much more interested in knowing what hostel Gbemi stayed in. After so many "ah my street in Lagos is very dirty, mine has no light" and so many other things that could be attribute to Lagos, I asked Gbemi for her phone number and what hostel She stayed in.
That Information marked the beginning of my love life, I visited Ziks Flat more often, thanks to the fact that Alvan Ikoku Hall was a stone throw to Ziks Flat. Gbemi cooked all kinds of food, not for me but for herself, I guess I learnt well from the British and French Colonial style of administration (Assimilation/Association).
Months went by, without me mentioning my hidden agenda to Gbemi. I guess she was smart enough to know what my real intention was. Finally I was bold enough. I spoke fast and simple, "Gbemi, I want to be your boyfriend". In the same manner she was simple but slow, "I'm very sorry, I can’t date you, we are in the same class and i can’t date someone from my class"
First year ended, but our closeness and friendship grew stronger. She moved on emotionally while I dated someone else.Rregardless of who we both dated, our friendship was pure and real, no hate or jealousy from me regardless of who she was with.
While my friendship with Gbemi enjoyed all my attention, my beautiful girlfriend suffered a lot of loneliness. In as much as I shared a lot of time with Gbemi, it never affected what i felt for my girl friend, I gave her all she needed except for my time and attention.
Life happened and time and fate took its course, I broke up with my beloved beautiful girlfriend. It was difficult to let her go, she loved me, even though she knew my flaws (Gbemi), but fate had to take its course (me and my girlfriend were not compatible health wise. It was better we went our separate ways.
How time flies when you are in love, it was 2012, in the year of our Lord, young Ifeanyi was already in final year, and was living the life of a freelancer - no girlfriend or emotional strings to anybody. Life was so sweet. I had few courses to write and attended little or no lectures up until I stumbled on a Precious Gift. I met her at a friend’s birthday party and soon after, everything happened and it kept on happening till I graduated and left for NYSC.
Thanks to NYSC, I forgot Precious Gift and remembered what Gbemi said in her room in Ziks Flat "I'm very sorry, I can’t date you, we are in the same class and i can’t date someone from my class". It took me days to actually realize that Gbemi was still very much around and how much I have missed and still loved her.
I was serving in Ibadan, and she was serving in Kebbi State. Distance wasn’t really a problem, I saw her virtually all the time she visited Lagos, I even volunteered to go to the bus park with her each and every time she left for kebbi State, that was how much the love grew and the bond became stronger.
But like every love story it ended with a heart break. Gbemi still had another excuse, this time it was funny, she said, "I like you but I can’t date you, I don’t love you the way you love me".
Let me tell you, this same bullshit went on for three years until I met Vivian.
I spent a lot of quality time chatting and calling Vivian, it is a beautiful experience, it felt as if I had known Vivian for a very long time. She showed me how to love myself and a how to forget Gbemi.
Now I'm in love with Vivian, but guess what, she has a boyfriend in whom she is well pleased.
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