Last year BellaNaija Features put together an inspiring feature series to round off the year. The 2014 Epilogues featured 10 real people who took an introspective look at their year and wrote about it. This year, we decided to make the call public to our readers. {Click here if you missed it} It is our hope and desire that we will have enough entries to have a story up every day from the 1st to the 31st of December. We have received an impressive number of entries and we hope that you will share yours with us.
We kicked off the series and so far we’ve had the following entries: Jennifer G , Morountodun , Victory, Mayowa , Harmony ,Dekky , OJ , Busola , Modupe, The Prodigal Daughter , Adetola, Ayomikun & Omami Jojo , Kehinde and Iember.
Every entry in this year’s series has been special and BellaNaija is truly blessed to have this community of people who have emerged from 2016 as stronger and better versions of themselves. Today, as we share Hadiza‘s story, we hope that you read and are inspired by her experience.
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Hmmm… It was early 2010, I was this young 25 years old sitting over the counter at the bank I worked in with an old (pervy lol) customer in my front. He had a pseudo-crush on me had been staring at me for almost 30 minutes. Finally he sighed and said, “Hadiza you are so beautiful, you will get married in 2015!” “huh??” I did an ‘over my dead body’ finger snap in my mind, I was said, “ah Mallam Lawal I will get married this year. Ah ahn are you cursing me?” I was dating the love of my life at that time who had come to meet my parents to ask for my hand before he went to the UK to finish up his Masters. I had a great job and we were both excitedly working hard towards a beautiful future ahead of us, life couldn’t be better.
But as usual life happened…
Fast forward to 2011, I was diagnosed with a terminal disease and given a few years to live. The love of my life went and got lost in Paradise and decided that he couldn’t stay with a girl who was “dying”. I don’t blame him.
I went into depression. I lost my job and I slit my wrist. (yes ooooo, it was that bad) He was my first and was meant to be the only. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. I spent days and nights crying with visions of suicide because I had been pronounced to be on a ticking clock so I might as well end it all right?! Well not to bore you with the long story but thanks to a very supportive family network, I was able to pick myself up and keep moving forward.
Well, fast forward to 2015, as I countdown to my 30th birthday, the words of Mallam Lawal ring in my ears. I thought it was impossible that I would be 30 and unmarried, but here I am 29 plus plus plus and not even a steady boyfriend to boast of.
But the special thing about 2015 is this year I survived.
Yes contrary to the doctor’s report that this was going to be my last year on earth, I survived. I was supposed to be gone this year but here I am, still swinging, still slanging, still making jokes, still laughing, still LIVING!
I am grateful to put one foot in front of another and keep forging ahead. I tried and tried but couldn’t get another job after a gazillion applications; so instead of getting depressed again, I decided to do what makes me happy. I started my foundation this year: a youth foundation focused on raising a new generation of Nigerian leaders.
I discovered I have the spirit of a fighter and my purpose in life is to pour that spirit into the next generation and teach anyone and everyone within my possible reach that no matter what life thrown at you, you should NEVER give up!
I discovered that it is okay to fail, it is okay to hurt, and it is okay to cry – as long as you can get up and be stronger and better than everything you were before. When they say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, there are no lies in it.
I haven’t found the “real” love of my life yet and it is okay. I still believe in that ridiculously crazy stupid love and I know it will find me soon enough. I am grateful to be alive and grateful to be able to appreciate the incredible elements of who I am, and all I have become as a person.
This year I learnt a lot about life. I developed myself, became a voracious reader and started following my dream of seeing the world. A lot of my ideologies changed especially towards general accepted societal views. I realized it’s okay to chart your own course. It’s okay to be single and 30. It’s okay to be married at 22 as well…whatever floats your boat. Life tends to box us into corners and patterns of what and who we are supposed to be, but when we get to the point where we live for ourselves and chart out own course, then we can say we are truly alive.
This year I found myself.
I fell in love with me for the first time in all my life. Truly, madly, deeply I feel in love with Hadiza and ohhh what a glorious love it was. I feel uninhibited. I feel free. I can do anything and be anything and I am thankful.
Mistakes have been made, regrets have run their courses, “what ifs” have been thought of, but 2015 draws a curtain closed to all of that. I am hopeful, I am thankful and I am alive.
This year on the 31st I will be in NYC watching the ball drop and feeling extremely thankful for every single one of the 3 decades I have spent here on earth. I never thought I would see it but in Chris Brown’s voice “look at me now ooooh” *wink*
Thank you BellaNaija for the opportunity to share. I hope you post this… I also became addicted to your blog this year as well and I’m thankful for the enlightened minds I’ve found on here.
So cheers to 2015 and cheers to an even greater 2016.
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